I met two ladies from the West Coast on the East Coast a few weeks ago. Sky & Sunshine are roommates in the trendy and ever so popular neighborhood not far from Hell’s Kitchen. There small yet quaint one bedroom apartment is perfect for one person with a not so perfect $2,000 dollar a month price tag. Sunshine referred to living in New York as bitter sweet moments. She misses the San Francisco bay area weather, the people, and admits finding genuine friends in the NYC is like finding a needle in a very large hay stack. Sunshine & Sky have been living in New York for two years and have not been successful with finding new friends in the city. Sunshine believes living in New York and finding friend is “Dating 101” gone terribly wrong. Sunshine met a young lady one evening at a popular restaurant in the city and Sunshine was asked a series of questions.
1. Are you single?
2. Do you live in the area?
3. Are you straight, bi or gay?
4. Where do you work?
5. What do you like to do for fun?
6. Do you have other cool friends and what do they do for a living?
Sunshine politely answered all the questions and they agreed to meet again for drinks the following week. Next week rolled around and Sunshine’s soon to be BFF was a no show. A couple weeks later Sunshine saw her soon to be BFF at a trendy hot spot in Hell’s Kitchen. Hey remember me, said Sunshine? The women politely replied yes, how have you been? Then much to Sunshine’s surprise her soon to be BFF asked the same series of questions.
1. Are you single?
2. Do you live in the area?
3. Are you straight, bi or gay?
4. Where do you work?
5. What do you like to do for fun?
6. Do you have other cool friends and what do they do for a living?
Sunshine realized the answers to the first set of questions did not meet the “friendship criteria” in the Dating 101 rule book and she is apparently not someone who is cool enough to hang out with.
There are more than eight million people living in New York City. Maybe these women are expecting the worst and getting the worst. What would happen if the expectation of meeting friends changed, would that change the outcome? They assured me, I will soon change, and living in New York City changes everyone. I knew Sunshine’s words were coming from a place of truth, her truth, not mine. I do not believe people change. I believe people adapt to their environment to survive and protect what matters most. I believe the core of who we are is written in our DNA, which is unchangeable. Nothing great happens overnight and if we need to search through several large hay stacks to find special life long friends, I believe it’s worth the search and worth the wait.
God Bless,
Tiffany Dejon
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